Saturday, November 23, 2013

"No Drugs For Me!" Wolcott's Pain Paint (1868)


Let those who cling to drugs

        The poison swallow down,

Blisters with Spanish bugs,

        Bleed, purge, and vomit round.

Dumb beasts disgusted turn

        Their noses high in air;

Brute instinct makes them spurn,

        Refuse it everywhere.

Shall man be lower still,

        Coax, force the nostrums down

Between the teeth, and kill

        A child in every town?

A mother holds the nose,

        And prises the jaws apart;

Her child, compelled by blows,

        Will drink to save more smart.

The day drawing near,

        God brings you to account;

Such sins breed horrid fear,

        A long and black amount.

I teach a better plan,

        Just read and you will see,

In Chatham Square you can,

        One hundred seventy.

A Cloth all Dripping Wet with Paint,

        Drives inflammation out,

Brings back the smile to laughing eyes,

        And scatters every doubt.

Pain Paint is trumps, we bet our pile,

        For all who look can see

That false reliefs are sinking fast,

        Soon dead as dead can be.

The poor or rich can buy Pain Paint,

        'Tis sold at every store;

Twenty-five cents, and fifty, too,

        Dollar bottles holding more.

Five dollar bottles take the run,

        You save three dollars sure,

They hold a point, worth more than gold,


All pills and physic out of style,

        I hear the people cry,

But give us Pain Paint's cooling touch,

        When fever rages high.

All rheumatism leaves, my boys,

        Pain Paint is tested free,

In Chatham-Square, New York, my lads,

        One hundred seventy.

        I sell more of WOLCOTT's PAIN PAINT than all the other patent medicines combined, and I keep a full supply of all that have any demand.

                        VALENTINE HAMMANN,

                Druggist, 11 Seventh Avenue, N. Y.

        C.N. CRITTENTON, No. 38, Sixth Avenue, one of the largest and most respectable wholesale druggist in New York, says: "Since the introduction of WOLCOTT'S PAIN PAINT, soothing syrups have fallen off in demand at my house at the rate of five gross per month. I sell less pills, not half the amount of bitters, only half the amount of R. Reliefs, that I formerly sold. I sell more of WOLCOTT'S PAIN PAINT than any other patent medicine, and I deal only in patent medicines."

        THEO. D.C. MILLER, M.D., 1335 Third Avenue, N.Y., says, "DR. WOLCOTT'S PAIN PAINTS is the cheapest and best pain curer under heaven, and is the greatest blessing to mankind for the relief from pain ever known." Dr. Miller is a graduate of bellevue Hospital Medical College, N.Y.

        D. VAN WART, M.D., Albany, N.Y., says: "I take pleasure in recommending WOLCOTT'S PAIN PAINT to all who suffer, and would suggest the propriety of the medical profession adopting it in their practice."

        DAVID H. SHAFFER, Esq., geologist and naturalist of Cincinnati, Ohio says: "I, as an individual, without fear of successful contradiction, pronounce WOLCOTT'S PAIN PAINT one of the most wonderful wonders of the age for relieving those who suffer pain."

        For sale by Druggists.

Schenectady Daily Evening Star and Times. April 20, 1868: 4 col 4.

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