"A Tribute to Everybody's Column" by "Onebody" of Eden Valley (1896)

A Tribute to Everybody's Column.

No advantage have the "classes,"

In this column, o'er the "masses."

Here are everybody's question,

Grievance, theory and suggestion.

Queer opinions queerly written,

Plaint of youth by Cupid smitten;

Bits of wisdom from the sages,

How to clean canary cages,

Theologic disputations,

Recent street car observations,

Cry for help from heart-sick mother,

Where John Jones may find his brother,

Call for handkerchief flirtation,

Plea for Cuban annexation,

On horse-fiddles and their uses,

Pedagogical abuses,

Tale of landlord's sore oppression

Apostolical succession,

Bachelor-maiden's cogitations,

Spinster youth's deliberations,

Views of various "Educators,"

Great success with "Pingry 'taters"

How to wheel to Billings' station,

Blavatsky's reincarnation,

Cost per pound of Grover's fishes—

Quips and notions, wants and wishes,

Witty, wise, absurd and solemn—

All in "Everybody's Column."

                        ONEBODY.

Eden Valley, Nov. 24, 1896.

Buffalo Evening News. November 27, 1896: 7 col 3.