Tuesday, November 18, 2014

"Just Advertise" by J. Evelyn (1907)

Just Advertise


Oh, have you heard of the best modern way

To make the whole nation know in a day

You've lost your poodle, or want a new place—

One that you know you are fitted to grace?

        Now if you don't know, I'll tell you the way;

        Advertise your wants, and do it to-day—

        ('T is a very small charge you'll have to pay,)

And you'll be downhearted and blue no more,

For what you're wanting will stop at your door.

Whate'er it may be, from wife to a cat,

Or a good-snap job where you may grow fat,

A pet poll parrot, or a deal in wheat,

Advertise right and 't will drop at your feet.

        If you are ambitious (this is no hoax,

        For good luck don't often back up to folks;

        The public's not coming your way to coax.)

Remember good fortune forever lies

On the routes of those who advertise.

If to your surprise some day you should find

Your mother-in-law gone and you left behind,

Don't pine all away and lose relish for food

Because she has left and your sky is gray hued,

        But just advertise, and then sure as fate

        You've only with patience and calmness to wait,

When "click" you will hear the snap of the gate,

And whole you're catching your tears in a bowl

Home she will come to the joy of your soul.

Troy Times. August 28, 1907: 7 col 1.

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